Surviving as an Adjunct and ABD Student

I am in my final dissertation process. And it is brutal. The field work is done. I mean, I could have done more field work, but when your field is Switzerland, well, you might understand when I say, the financial logistics of that, even with family, are tenuous. I have a full "shitty first draft" that has taken a lot to put together, but nothing that isn't doable. You just have to write. And write. And write. That's the gig though, and I am ok with that. What is taking even more time to put together, however, is the committee. I mean, they are in place, no problem there, but getting them to respond in a timely way is near to impossible. I'm almost in stalking mode, since multiple emails haven't done the trick. My colleagues are now engaged with helping me edit my dissertation in a distributed labor fashion (i.e. chapters are divvied out so that no one person has to read the whole thing). This is a kindness that is truly humbling and no words can do justice for what their input means to me. Between the lengthy response times of my committee however, and laborious grading loads, means that I linger in ABD (all but dissertation) mode, limping along on my thin adjunct salary. I am in the worst financial straits I've been in since I was 26 years old and living on my own in Los Angeles and making 9.50/hour (in 1997), nearly 20 years ago.

This is the crux. I cannot afford, time-wise, to continue to adjunct at the community college level and work as a TA at the university. This is just too much while trying to complete my dissertation. Virtually no writing happens that way because one is endlessly preparing for classes, grading and attending meetings. Plus, of course, you need time to be able to go grocery shopping, commute, get a little sleep and maybe stop for a minute every other day or so to sniff the roses, so to speak. In order to be able to write I gave up being at TA at the university. This cut my commute almost entirely as the community college where I continue to work is only 3 miles from home.  In order to be able to do this I took a loan, through family, to supplement my income. This is a huge blessing even though it will be a monster to pay back. You see, the news is true, you cannot live on an adjunct salary. It is, when I break it down, about $8.50/hour, which is less than what I was making in 1997. And I live in San Diego, CA, one of the most expensive cities in the United States. Very depressing. But it must be done, so I do.

Survival on an adjunct salary is about living within one's means, having multiple jobs, a supportive network, and personal well of emotional, physical and spiritual stamina. I budget and I don't go out often on my own. I have 3 classes and eventually, when I am done with my dissertation, I will have 6-8 classes on 2-3 campuses. I have friends and family who are generous and understanding. I have a partner who is a saint. The emphasis on a solid network cannot be over-estimated or over-stated. It is the single key that has made all the difference to what otherwise would have been abject poverty. Abject poverty isn't just not having the means to get by, though it certainly is that too, it is about isolation and living on the edge of financial ruin if anything goes wrong. So you find emotional and spiritual stamina wherever you can. In my case I find this in the classroom and in staying connected. Engaging with students and constantly tweaking classroom material that is relevant to them, is a way of generating an ongoing conversation that is intellectually rich and dynamic.  I also find emotional and spiritual stamina in my connection to people and places. The expansiveness of the ocean, the birds in the canyon behind my house and the myriad of friends, neighbors and family, to name a few. The physical stamina I find in my daily routine of running with my dog. We run the neighborhood early every morning and find our zen in a waking world. She keeps my heart and legs strong.

I'm not sure how much longer I can do this. I want more than just survival. For now I have prioritized my dissertation work and I take projects on as they come. Knocking them down one at a time. Once I am officially Dr. Bush I will try and find work that is more financially sustaining, even if it isn't in the classroom, though this is where I know I am my best. I am a survivor. I have a lot to offer. Somehow, someway, I've got this.